Chief of humor

If you haven’t met the Chief of Police of Forks, you need to. He is hilarious! Well, you probably don’t want to meet him when you’re breaking the law, because I’m sure he isn’t very funny then. Most other times though, he is so full of jokes that I almost worry about my job security. I said almost.I was wondering the other day, what happens if the school zone starts flashing when I’ve already passed it but I don’t know?

Do I get it a ticket? More importantly, will the police officer be bribable? Also, is bribable a word? Today it is!I emailed the chief immediately to ask, but only after pulling off to the side of the road because I do not use my phone and drive because that is against the law.  He offered no black and white answer on whether a person would be in trouble. However, he did joke (I think he was joking) that he would have one officer flip the switch right after I passed, while the other would be waiting to pull me over.

Between me and you, I’m going to start driving through town at 20 MPH from now on….just in case he isn’t as humorous as I think.It was during this email exchange that I realized that you all should be very thankful that I am not a police officer here. I joked about Officer Dom Scott and how much he loved using his badge, but I think I would be equally bad, if not worse….if that’s possible. I would totally flip that switch as soon as someone passed and then pull them over!I’m not even kidding here.

I would have too much fun with my power. I could not handle it with grace.A few years ago, I was riding with a friend in Eastern Washington when a police officer pulled us over. He asked us one by one to step out and talk to him alone. I was wondering what the heck was in the trunk (too many movies I guess), when the police officer asked me what the smell coming from the car was. He claimed to smell a strong marijuana aroma.

I laughed and almost joked that it must be the officer smoking it because no one was smoking any in our car….but then I realized this was probably one of those cases in which my “humor” might not work out in my favor. Magically the officer may have “found” weed in my pocket or something, which is silly because I would totally hide it in my sock.

Anyway, I told the officer truthfully that we didn’t have any, we weren’t smoking any, and I had no idea what he was smelling.The officer then says, “Okay, the driver said the same thing. You two are free to go.”REALLY?! All that just to try and attempt to bust some random people by chance? What a jack-o-lantern!

Excuse my language, but it was a jerk move on his part.A jerk move that I totally wish I could pull on someone by the way!!! You’re all VERY welcome I do this column instead of walking around with my badge in one hand and a donut in the other. I would have been Dom Scott on steroids….Metaphorically of course, but could you imagine old Dom on steroids? Funny thought.


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