It is never a good day when you wake up to find out that you have died. But, then it is a good day because …you woke up and you actually are still alive. Such was the case for Tom Larkin last week when a rumor got started that he had left us in a big way. Since I am usually the last to know these things I was not aware until the not-so-dearly departed Tom called the Forks Forum on Friday wanting to buy a non-celebration of life ad to let people know he was still around.

It would be fitting for Tom to play along with his non-obituary…in the past, he did a faux help wanted ad in the Forks Forum for non-existent bikini baristas using the phone number 867-5309. I had people call asking for the area code… then told them …call Jenny … Eight six seven five three oh nine …They got a good laugh out of it.

Tom has an active and good sense of humor. He was even mentioned in an article in the Wall Street Journal spoofing Twilight, and then who could forget Slugs Lives Matter …and there are so many more. Such as the West End Stimulus package, during the government shutdown, that was proposed by Tom.

If it was sharing time at Tom’s memorial I would have to tell about a mid-1970s encounter when he was a school kid and I worked at Lefler’s. He laid away a backpack …and for months he came weekly with five cents, 10 cents, 25 cents, to pay on his lay-a-way …I would think, “Oh no here comes that kid with another payment” …it took a while and a ton of receipts and he finally got it paid off. Years later I would learn that he purchased the backpack to run away from home. I also learned he was skimming off his lunch money to pay for it …hence the many, many small payments that nearly drove me crazy!

Finally getting it paid off he had not changed his mind and was still determined to run away. He made it to the Bogachiel store, where he then changed his mind about running away and called home, I think he was told you made it that far, you can find a way back home. I don’t think he ran away again.

Tom is also the reason I had a chicken named Larkin …that is another story, which I have written about.

So, the lesson here? Have a good sense of humor, even when you are mistakenly declared deceased unless it is the US government doing so. Statistics show that about 12,200 people are erroneously declared dead every year by the U.S. Government, and being dead makes it very hard to do the things needed to live.

Tom was lucky it was just a local rumor.

And, I am not going to make him buy an ad …I think this column should work just the same. Also, I saw him shopping for groceries so I personally know he was/is alive and well.

So until the next rumor …or next week …

Christi Baron, Editor