Pop Quiz!
It’s that time of the year again when I makes things up. Basically I do the same thing all year-round, but now it’s almost the 4th of July! In honor of this fabulous time for Forks residents, I present to you the first annual Forks 4th of July Quiz. I hope you studied. You’re not going to need it.
1. In what year did Forks start the Old-Fashioned 4th of July?
1. Back when “old-fashioned” was the new fashion.
2. In 1492 when Columbus sailed the ocean blue.
3. 10,000 B.C.
4. When the old gym was built, not to be confused with the new-old gym or the new-new gym.

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The Real Forks:
Between my epilepsy, appendectomy, occasional asthma flare-ups and complications from labor/deliveries, etc., I’ve been to the Forks Community Hospital more than most perhaps. I’d say that I’m a regular. Hopefully not the annoying regular that veteran employees trick the newbies into taking care of though.

Because I’ve been there so often, I’m starting to really think they should offer some sort of frequent flier program. Maybe a rewards card? I’d even take a punch card where after 10 surgeries, you get one free! All I’m saying is that it has become standard practice for businesses to compensate regular customers.

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As most of you may know, Sterling Bank recently switched to Umpqua Bank. What you may not know is that nobody asked my permission before this change. Obviously you’re thinking, “Wow! This column has really gone to her head!”

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In Christyland, obituaries would make people smile and maybe even laugh. Unfortunately, as I discovered while writing my gram’s obituary, the rule book states that they must be serious. This is unfortunate because laughter is the best medicine … after Nyquil anyway.

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If you haven’t met the Chief of Police of Forks, you need to. He is hilarious! Well, you probably don’t want to meet him when you’re breaking the law, because I’m sure he isn’t very funny then. Most other times though, he is so full of jokes that I almost worry about my job security. I said almost.I was wondering the other day, what happens if the school zone starts flashing when I’ve already passed it but I don’t know?

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