Christy Rasmussen Ford

Christy Rasmussen posted 86 stories to Forks Forum.
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How lucky i am

“How lucky I am to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard.” — Winnie the Pooh.....

  • May 27th, 2016 9:06pm

Birthday suit

I have grown three humans in my womb, have a love/hate relationship with all unhealthy food, despise exercise and consider kale .....

  • May 19th, 2016 9:45pm

Dear Class of 2016,

Due to your upcoming graduation, I thought I would spend this week directing my nonsensical rambling to you all specifically .......

  • May 12th, 2016 5:36pm

Driver’s Ed fail

The very first rule in driving school should be: “Thou Shall Pull Over to Let Fellow Drivers by When Going 20 MPH Under the Speed Limit!” Sadly ....

  • Apr 22nd, 2016 12:11am

Are you my cousin?

If anyone knows Dewey (Dewy?) Rasmussen, could you please have him contact me? I need to get together with him to discuss family trees so I can start answering truthfully to the millions of people .....

  • Apr 7th, 2016 9:50pm

Hym Rn?

As probably the world’s greatest word-maker-upper, I have quite the eye for real vs. made-up terms. That being said, I am human......

  • Mar 31st, 2016 8:02pm

Singing insurance ‘praises’

I recently wrote a column about how much I “love” insurance companies. I received an e-mail immediately after it came out, stating something along the lines of how I would be singing ......

  • Mar 24th, 2016 7:46pm

Robin Hood Loop houses

I’m not trying to judge the builders of the Robin Hood Loop houses, but they could have been a little more creative .....

  • Mar 18th, 2016 9:27pm

You People

I despise the rain and I'm not afraid to admit (whine about) that. I do sun dances daily, but clearly they aren’t working.

  • Mar 11th, 2016 10:54pm

Why the hyphen?

My husband thinks I fell in love with him, but in actuality, I fell in love with his last name. My maiden name is often butchered ......

  • Mar 3rd, 2016 5:24pm

I dislike insurance companies

I received a letter from my insurance company last week. Like most of you, I was very excited to read the good news.........

  • Feb 25th, 2016 12:15am

Derby Car Courtesy of Chicago

Three years ago, on my way to Forks from Pittsburgh, I drove through a little known town called Chicago .....

  • Feb 18th, 2016 11:59pm

Best Week Ever!

How was your week last week? That’s good or I’m sorry to hear that … which ever applies. I had a fabulous week ......

  • Feb 12th, 2016 9:38pm

Attention owners of unattractive horses

To everyone thinking of moving to Wilbur, Wash., the place is not as amazing as you think. Before you pack up and move there........

  • Feb 4th, 2016 9:18pm

Oh Gram….

I know that every woman says this about her precious loved one so you might be thinking I am just biased by love .....

  • Jan 28th, 2016 7:45pm

Dear Thievers Part II,

I’m guessing that when you broke into that shed a few weeks ago and then went back to steal a truck, you didn’t spend one-second thinking of the person you were stealing from. ........

  • Jan 21st, 2016 12:07am

Hard core fan plan

Living in Pittsburgh taught me a few eye-opening things. For example, there are stores out there that do not sell Johnny’s Seasoning Salt ........

  • Jan 14th, 2016 11:34pm

2016 Prediction

As some of you may recall, this is my third annual predictions column. If for some reason, you do not remember my previous predictions, please get your “Christy’s Columns” scrapbook out and.......

  • Jan 7th, 2016 11:10pm

So I Wrote a Book

For the first 26 years of my life, I was seriously intent on becoming a lawyer. In a weird series of events though .......

  • Jan 7th, 2016 10:54pm

Not everyone has a chainsaw, you know

After our latest super storm, a lady from Port Townsend posted a picture on Facebook of her “storm damage"........

  • Dec 30th, 2015 10:52pm

The Mayor Who Stole Christmas

Every Forksonite in Forks liked Christmas a lot But years ago, Bryon Monohon definitely did NOT........

  • Dec 23rd, 2015 11:17pm

Elfie-Thingie

If you have kids or have seen any kids in the past couple of years, you’ve probably heard of the new-ish Christmas tradition...........

  • Dec 23rd, 2015 10:31pm

Puffin review

A few weeks ago, I stood outside the new Puffin Store and watched a pizza delivery car pull up. I thought to myself, “Well, isn’t that ironic?! Someone at THIS store has the...........

  • Dec 11th, 2015 11:26pm

The Gravy Train

Even before birth, I knew that I was going to hate cooking Thanksgiving dinner. Therefore........

  • Dec 3rd, 2015 5:34pm

Rasmussen-Ford Plumbing?

Last week, while showering, I noticed that I was taking a shath (shower/bath combo). Shaths are lovely sometimes, ........

  • Nov 27th, 2015 10:36pm

Chicken skin

Every year, right before Halloween, I remind myself that I need to tell my eerie tale. Every year I forget because........

  • Nov 19th, 2015 6:10pm

One of my favorite veterans

Back in 1995, a love like no other was forming at Forks Elementary School. I was in the fifth grade and I had a huge crush on a boy in my class........

  • Nov 12th, 2015 11:42pm

The Candy-Handing-Outing Disaster

On Friday evening, I decided to spice up my life a little by breaking my foot. At the time, it seemed like a good idea. .......

  • Nov 5th, 2015 11:07pm

Two cents on tailgating

In the history of road rage, there has never been a tailgatee who sped up due to being tailgated........

  • Oct 29th, 2015 10:39pm

Considering a Home Loan? Don’t.

If a friend tells you that securing a home loan will be a simple and rewarding process, end that friendship yesterday......

  • Oct 22nd, 2015 11:41pm

The Ban on Fun

I don’t like to brag about it, but back in high school, I was quite the football star at FHS............

  • Oct 14th, 2015 9:16pm

Carded for DayQuil?

I am super ungood (not a real word) at guessing ages. Therefore, when I serve adult beverages, I card everyone …

  • Oct 6th, 2015 7:20pm

A new television show?

I don’t often listen to our local radio station for two reasons: First of all, I have to be parked in their parking lot for my stereo to even pick it up......

  • Sep 25th, 2015 10:28pm

Back in 1997

Am, is, are, was, were, be, being, been, have, had, has, do, does, did, can, could, shall, should, will, would, may, might, must. These are the verbs of being............

  • Sep 17th, 2015 4:13pm

Who Loves a Ford? (Not this Ford)

Due to a recent schedule change, I have been subjected to the cruel and unusual punishment of driving my husband’s quirky Ford..........

  • Sep 11th, 2015 9:42pm

Not This Again

While cruising around Facebook the other day, I came across a post where a woman shared a photo that said, “Pray for Washington.” She added her own comment which said......

  • Sep 3rd, 2015 11:19pm

Happy Bankiversary!!!

Many people have been asking me about it so I’m just going to publicly announce my exciting news; Sept. 23 will be my 11th bankiversary.......

  • Aug 28th, 2015 5:24pm

Complimentary Nasal Rebreathers

In response to last week’s column about the hot springs aroma, someone said to themselves, “I’ll show her!” and alerted me to their wonderful article explaining why some hot springs smell........

  • Aug 21st, 2015 5:07pm

It’s the sulfur, we swear!

I went to the hot springs this weekend. If you have never been there before, you need to know one thing about the place........

  • Aug 14th, 2015 12:24am

The Mossy Mess

A while ago I was asked to be a tour guide for a clothing company looking to do a photo shoot at the Hoh Rainforest............

  • Jul 30th, 2015 10:32pm