A few days from today would have been my grandma’s 77th birthday. In her memory, I’d like to share the following story:
If you have been reading this for very long, you might remember my friend Ethel. Ethel appeared in a column a few months ago
I am a huge fan of Chinook Pharmacy. I’m not just saying that to get a personal parking spot right in front either. If a reserved parking spot is offered as a “tip” for speaking highly of them, that would be OK, too,
’Twas the night before Christmas and all through the town
The businesses in Forks (except 76) were all closed down
The decorations were hung down main street with flair
On the way to Port Angeles the other day, I was listening to some random Canadian radio station. It was coming in hit or miss.
10. Forks doesn’t get that much rain. Found on an online blog on the subject of Forks, “As someone told me who ACTUALLY lives in Forks, WA, it doesn’t actually rain there very often.” Seriously?
10. I am thankful for all of the power outages that remind me to not take electricity or hot water for granted. My customers however, are not thankful for my lack of showers on these days that I am without hot water.
A list recently came out naming the most crime-filled places in Washington. Tacoma was voted the crimiest. This came as a complete shock to absolutely no one, with the exception of maybe some of the residents of Aberdeen who thought they had it in the bag this year. Aberdeen is scary, but not like Tacoma.
The school district is asking for input on mascotting the intermediate school, or as I like to call it, “Forks Elementary School, Part II”. At first I wondered why the students at FES Part II weren’t just allowed to pick the mascot that they wanted. Then I remembered what happened the last time the kids were allowed to choose their own mascot; 9 months later, we got the Puddle Jumpers.
A while back I was at the police station. Just to set the record straight, I did not arrive handcuffed in the back of a police car. I was there on my own free will … and no, not turning myself in either.
Shortly after moving in to our humble abode, my family purchased and installed a high-tech home security system to protect us from the lions and tigers and bears (oh my!). We live in the middle of nowhere (actually 40 minutes outside of Forks) so we need some kind of security system. His name is Tucker and he’s a year-old lab-mixed with goodness knows what else.
The other night, I read a Facebook thingy about Initiative 594 (gun control measure). It instructed Forks folks to vote no on the initiative because the entire town of Forks is going to be jailed if it passes. According to the Facebook thingy, merely handing your gun to anyone, including your dog, will get you thrown in jail if you do not go through the proper channels of transfershipness.
This electronic warfarring business has become the most talked about topic in Forks since last month when someone got pulled over on Division Street. I brought up this controversial subject (the electronic warfare, not the traffic infraction) last week in my column and was accused of writing inflammatory satire.
