As some of you may recall, this is my third annual predictions column. If for some reason, you do not remember my previous predictions, please get your “Christy’s Columns” scrapbook out and flip through until you find them. Upon your refresher course, you will notice that I have a stellar record of being 100 percent wrong in every single prediction I’ve ever made. However, I am certain that this year, things will be generally the same. Without further ado:
After publishing a book titled, “The Funny Thing About Epilepsy” late in 2015, in which the entire introduction discusses my prediction that people will tell me that epilepsy isn’t funny, someone will immediately comment on the first day of 2016 that, “There is nothing funny about epilepsy. The author obviously doesn’t have it.” That actually already happened, which means that two of my predictions already have come true. Psychic Network, here I come!
Sometime in the first part of the year, the WSDOT will come up with a plan to encourage more awareness and usage of the complimentary pull-off spots around the lake. They will offer free Wi-Fi in these strange areas. This plan will be a great success and the days of 27 cars in a line behind one guy/gal going 15 mph (and breaking every 10 feet) will temporarily come to an end. Unfortunately, in keeping with the traditional governmental (surprisingly a real word) way of messing everything up, the state will start requiring permits very expensive to pull off into these areas.
Early spring will bring much rain to our area. Mid- and late spring also will bring much rain. I know, this prediction seems way out there, but just have a little faith in my psychic powers.
Also in spring, Christi and I will donate one date with both of us to the scholarship auction. Sadly, no one will bid on this donation because there isn’t a single person in this town not related to at least one of us. This will be just as well because we’re both married and dating outside the marriage is generally frowned upon.
Sometime in the summer months (hopefully very early into the tourist season), a “How-To” sign will be placed on the emergency blinking light. Basically it will just say, “THERE’S A GOOD CHANCE YOU DON’T NEED TO STOP HERE RIGHT NOW!!!!” Road rage among locals will drastically drop.
In July, the Fourth of July Committee will bring back the beloved dunk tank for the festivities … OK, maybe that one is just wishful thinking on my end. Bring back the dunk tank!!!!
During the fall, the “Welcome to Forks” sign will add the following statement, “Home of Christy Rasmussen-Ford.” This will bring a lot of people to our area in an attempt to find out who the heck Christy Rasmussen-Ford is.
In a strange turn of events, near the end of the year, a Spartan football game will be heard on a local radio station. They will be playing Neah Bay.
All in all, 2016 is going to be a great year for our little town. Happy New Year everyone!!!
As always, for my personalized psychic services (or for free questions or comments) please send credit card information to [email protected]