“How lucky I am to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard.” — Winnie the Pooh
First of all, I think it goes without saying, but if you are thinking to yourself that a grown woman has no business quoting Winnie the Pooh, then we have no business being friends. Quoting Winnie the Pooh always is a good idea.
Getting to the point, when I first started this column, my (then) editor said to me, “There are two things that you need to accept if you want to write a weekly column; people will somehow find a way to be offended by anything you write and it’s really hard to come up with topics every week.”
His first point wasn’t apparent in the beginning. I thought that I was somehow managing to please everyone. As I look back now though, I can see that I didn’t get any comments because my email was not included for a while. People had no way to tell me that I was a stupid-head. They were forced to just move on with their lives … much like people used to do before the rise of behind-the-screen-Internet-warriors.
Eventually I started to get some angry readers who were unfortunately, born without either the ability to laugh or to just say to themselves, “She isn’t really that funny in my opinion.” Either approach would have been fine to me. I am well aware that I’m not everyone’s cup of tea … though I feel the need to mention that a lovely woman once said, “If people don’t think she’s funny, it’s because they aren’t smart enough to understand her humor.” I’m going with that, simply to save my fragile ego.
As for the editor’s second point on coming up with ideas, I didn’t notice this in the beginning either. For two years, the column ideas flowed in and wrote themselves. This leads me to believe that there are exactly 104 inside jokes among us Forksonites.
For the last year though, the ideas have been hard to come by. It seems to be a struggle almost every week to come up with something to write about. Consequently, I feel like I am not writing my best stuff, which isn’t fair to anyone. This was something that the editor told me to never do as a columnist. I clearly listened to that advice, doing it only 52 times.
I don’t mind the Internet-warriors. They actually have done me a favor by allowing me to develop thicker skin, which I need to have if I want to be a popular writer. Three years ago, I would have been bummed over a bad comment for a full week. These days, I only stay sad for six and a half days. As you can see, I’ve made huge improvements.
However, I do very much mind the forced columns that do not reflect my best writing. For this reason, I feel that it is time to say goodbye … at least for now. This wasn’t an easy decision as I have loved writing this column and all the people who have supported me, but I think it is time. I don’t know where my writing will take me, but in the words of Winnie the Pooh, “What could be more important than a little something to eat?”