Dear Class of 2016,

Due to your upcoming graduation, I thought I would spend this week directing my nonsensical rambling to you all specifically .......

Due to your upcoming graduation, I thought I would spend this week directing my nonsensical rambling to you all specifically. My apologies in advance.


Thirteen years ago (when you all were still occasionally peeing your pants in kindergarten), I was planning my own high school graduation. Among other extremely important details, my class was assigned the task of deciding upon a “walking out of the graduation ceremony at the end” song … and yes, that is the technical term for it.

After the votes were tallied, my class chose to walk out to Green Day’s “Good Riddance”. If you don’t know that song, it basically goes, “I hope you had the time of your life …” a couple of times with some other jibberish. We thought we were pretty original, but the fact of the matter was that four out of five graduating classes in the country (maybe even the world) at that time also chose that song. The FHS Class of 2003 wasn’t exactly known for creativity. We were cool, but not very original.

Either way, when I hear that song, I am immediately drawn back to my high school years, more specifically the end of my high school years. I look back at that time in my life with nothing but extremely happy memories. I had a blast in high school and did all the fun high school-ey stuff. I didn’t miss out on a single thing.

One million, thousand, billion, trillion people told me (and will undoubtedly tell you), “Savor these moments! You’ll never get them back.” They were/are right. You will never get these moments back. You will often (foolishly) wish to go back to this time in your life. I sometimes do, but then I take off the rose-colored glasses and see things a little more clearly.

Let me be the first adult to be 100 percent honest with you … high school can be fun. That being said, NOTHING beats sitting on your own couch … in your own place … in your underwear … eating an entire cake for breakfast … at 1 p.m. … because you’re an adult and you make your own choices now. Nothing beats wasting an entire day watching junk television and eating ice cream straight out of the carton, without a spoon because no one washed the dishes because no one threatened you to. Nothing beats pizza for dinner seven days a week if that’s what you choose (it’s what I chose anyway). Nothing beats the freedom in general.

I often hear people say they wish they could go back to the simpler years of high school. I had a lot of fun in high school, and though I could do without the bills and “adulting,” I do not wish to go back. I am a huge fan of walking around my house in my underwear. I think you’re all going to enjoy that as well. That single perk alone is worth all the stress of adulthood.

Lastly, to all of you graduating this year, I hope you had the time of your life.

For questions, comments or suggestions on graduation songs that aren’t ridiculously overplayed, please email me at