Best Week Ever!

How was your week last week? That’s good or I’m sorry to hear that … which ever applies. I had a fabulous week! To start it all off, I won employee of the year at my day job (night job really). As they say, everything has a price. As it turns out, getting employee of the year cost me exactly $51. Ha ha, just kidding! I actually think the powers that be gave it to me because they are happy that I (very intentionally) never mention where I work by name in my column.


This isn’t necessarily to keep the business a secret either. I love working there and I am not just saying that to win employee of the year. No, I don’t mention it by name because I like to keep both jobs separate. Of course, some of you know where I work because you have been there and noticed me.

One woman noticed me and asked if I was related to the lady who writes a column in the Forks Forum. This was a super hard question to answer by the way. Is one related to themselves? I think so, but I asked if she liked the column before I answered, “Yes. I am related.” I didn’t want to claim any part of it if she hated my column.

Things just continued getting better as the week progressed. The next day, on my way to work, I followed five cars who apparently were out for a Sunday drive … on a Tuesday. After a few miles of driving seven miles an hour (occasionally speeding up to eight miles an hour), I said to myself, “Please let this insanity end!” Then, as if the universe was on my side, they ALL turned off to go to the rain forest. Though I was obviously not there to witness the parting of the Red Sea, I imagine my scenario was just as, if not more, exciting.

Also last week, after starting a diet that has been successfully curing epilepsy for years, I tried on my “skinny pants” (the kind of pants that every woman keeps JUST IN CASE she ever loses weight). After holding onto my skinny pants for a short time (13 years to be exact), they are now officially my “fat pants” (the kind of pants every woman keeps JUST IN CASE the worst case scenario happens). Also, as a small added benefit, I haven’t had any seizures, even the mini ones that I used to have almost daily!

Best of all though, last week, I received my first check from my book! I had to wait a while for it, which was a bummer because I wrote it when I was out of work with intentions of using the proceeds to get us through that time. Though the check came two months after I went back to work, it was still exciting! Since I know you’re all wondering, I will tell you how much I made … exactly $51.

For questions or comments, you can e-mail me at [email protected]