It’s the sulfur, we swear!

I went to the hot springs this weekend. If you have never been there before, you need to know one thing about the place; it has a very distinct smell. I use the word “distinct” because the aroma of hard-boiled eggs mixed with the side effects of chili is not found anywhere else in the world.

If I were them, I would advertise this unique trait. People love to visit places that boast of being, “The only place in the world where you can find …” For example, just look at all of the amazing things that the World’s Only Corn Palace has done for the town of Mitchell, S.D.

Wait, where is Mitchell, S,D?

Seriously though, you will barely notice this scent when visiting the hot springs … if you don’t have a nose. Everyone else will notice it immediately. However, rest assured that once you get past the original shock of the smell, it come on even more strongly. Believe me though, there will come a time when you don’t even notice it at all. That time will be two weeks after leaving the hot springs.

All kidding aside, I love that place! And I am not merely saying that because the general manager is a really nice guy who happens to be a friend (hopefully a friend with a good sense of humor). Yes, that’s right, I know the GM of the hot springs.

Sadly, when I say, “I know your boss! Don’t think I won’t call him about the ice in my water when I requested no ice!” no one seems to care.

Maybe they instinctively know that I don’t have his number because we are more “smile at the store” kind of friends as opposed to “actually talk to each other on the phone” kind of friends.

Regardless, the phrase, “I know the GM” doesn’t get me anywhere there. It doesn’t work in Forks either because it’s pretty much a given that the residents know the owners of the businesses here. Funny enough, some people still try that line. “I’m good friends with the owner!” They’ll say. So is everyone else in here. Take your seat.

But this column is not about special treatment or who knows whom or even how smelly the hot springs area is. This column is about my recent conclusion that there is a car dealership out there somewhere selling cars without rearview mirrors.

I came upon this conclusion on my way to the hot springs when I found myself 10 cars behind someone driving 25 miles UNDER the speed limit. I refuse to believe that there are people out there who are such selfish, inconsiderate assets to our roadways that they won’t do the right thing and pull over. No. This poor guy was without rearview mirrors and didn’t see all 79 of us behind him.

Or maybe he was trying to find out where that smell was coming from?

For questions or comments, you can find me at the hot springs unless I get banned from there at which point you can e-mail me at [email protected]