An out-of-towner recently asked me if I knew a guy named Rod Fleck. “Of course I know him!” would have been the truthful answer, but instead I said that I hadn’t heard of him.
You might be asking yourself why I lied. Or maybe you aren’t asking yourself that at all. I don’t know, but I’m going to tell you anyway. I lied because this guy introduced himself to me as being a very important person who worked a very important job at a very important place.
I could be wrong about this, but it seems to me that very important people do not introduce themselves as very important people. Admittedly though, I have never been a very important person so it is possible that very important people do indeed introduce themselves as very important people.
Either way, I didn’t feel like explaining to this very important person that Rod had stood up for me when I was the victim of a crime at 10 years old, I did my job shadow with Rod back in high school when I thought law school sounded fun, and that I frequently make things up about Rod in my column.
So I took the easy way out; “I’ve never heard of him.”
Now, I’m feeling kind of bad because this VIP’er said that he was going to mention me to Rod the next time he saw him. He took down my name and everything. Whether he was going to mention me as the dumb local he met or the lovely Forksonite, I’m not sure. Regardless, when he mentions meeting “Christy” who had never heard of Rod, Rod might have his feelings hurt and think that I am ashamed of knowing him.
This couldn’t be further from the truth. I am not ashamed at all. In fact, I am very thankful for Rod for many reasons (especially as of late), but most importantly I am thankful that Rod has not sued me for all the slanderish information about him found in my columns. I would have sued me. Then again, I don’t think a person can sue themselves. I don’t know that for a fact though because I realized law school wasn’t fun after all and so I never went. I’m regretting that decision a lot lately.
The point is that honesty is always the best policy. If you lie, feelings can be hurt. The only exception to the honesty policy is if you need to get out of talking to someone who refers to themselves as a VIP’er. Then, lying moves into the gray area. I highly recommend not being honest in that situation and then writing a column about it explaining why you had to lie. But that’s just me and I conveniently have a column to do this.
If you have ever been a very important person and can confirm whether or not very important people introduce themselves as very important people, e-mail [email protected]