Oh Gram….


I know that every woman says this about her precious loved one so you might be thinking I am just biased by love, but I disagree. There has never been and will never be another person alive worser (not a word) at technology than my grandma. You might think that your grandma is bad at technology, but after reading this column, you’ll admit that my grandma is better than your grandma at being bad at technology.


The following sentence uttered by my gram should highlight what I’m getting at here; “How do I get the little mousey thingy to stay still?”

If that doesn’t prove my point, there was also this quote; “Where are all the capital letter buttons on the keyboard?”

If that still hasn’t won you over, she also thought that her laptop with WiFi needed to be plugged in at all times to not only stay powered, but to also have Internet. When I unplugged everything and used her computer on the couch, her mind was blown! My mind was equally blown the day I received a Facebook friend request from the same woman who needed my help to click things with the “mousey thingy.” Living across the country, I was surprised to learn that she had made such leaps and bounds with technology. Maybe I had just been a bad teacher all this time? As it turned out though, someone else signed her up.

Now, I will admit, there are millions of people around the world who do not “get” computers. I take for granted that I have always had computers around. However, her technology abilities (or lack of) also extended to telephones. The average wall phone did not stump her, but when caller ID was added, she got lost.

I called her one day from Pittsburgh. “Hi Gram! I’m calling to ask what showed up on your caller ID when I called.” I said to her. She replied, “I didn’t pay attention. I’ll call you back.” “No, Gram, you can’t call me back. I need to call you.” I said. “Oh, yes. You have a baby in the house. I don’t want to wake her. Go ahead and call me back!”

While that was considerate of her (she was always very considerate), waking the baby was not the issue. I called her a second time. “It shows your number.” She said. “Does it show up as Forks or Pittsburgh?” I asked. “I don’t remember. Let me call you back this time. You’re better at this than I am.” She said. Oh Gram …

She always will be one of my favorite people ever, not despite her technology issues, but instead they just added to her cuteness. Her 78th birthday would have been this past Monday. I wished her a happy birthday on her Facebook wall … because wherever she is, I’m guess I’m hoping that her technology skills have improved. She couldn’t possibly have gotten any worser (still not a word).

For comments or questions, please e-mail me at [email protected] Please have your granddaughter help if need be.