Every Forksonite in Forks liked Christmas a lot

But years ago, Bryon Monohon definitely did NOT

Forksonites loved Christmas ALMOST as much as the 4th of July

But the mayor hated Christmas and no one knew why

Maybe it was because the strand of lights on his front stoop

Could never compete with the displays at Robin Hood Loop

But I think that the most likely reason of all

May have been seasonal depression from the rainfall

Whatever the reason, the rain or his lights

He stood there on Christmas Eve, hating the Forksonites

Then he growled, listening to the police chief’s jolly humming

“I MUST find some way to stop the Forks Christmas from coming!”

Then he got an idea from a popular Christmas book

“I’ll be like the Grinch, what a wonderful crook!”

So, when all the Forksonites went to sleep at dark

The mayor stopped at the first house in Ford Park

“This is only house number one,” the mayor said of his mission

He stole all things Christmas and then moved on to Thomas Addition

When he was done he said, “They’re just waking up. I know what they’ll do!”

The Forksonites down in Forks will all cry BooHoo!”

But the sound he heard wasn’t sad! It actually sounded merry

It couldn’t be so! But it WAS merry! VERY

And he puzzled three hours, till his puzzler was sore.

Then the mayor thought of something he hadn’t before

“Maybe Christmas,” he thought, “doesn’t come from the store.”

“Maybe Christmas … perhaps … means a little bit more!”

And what happened then? Well, in Forks they say

That the mayor’s small heart grew three sizes that day!

So now you all know the “truth” of why Bryon Monohon is always such a nice guy. Merry Christmas Forksonites!