Top Ten Things You Didn’t Know About Forks (but can read on the Internet)

by Christi Rasmussen Ford

10. Forks doesn’t get that much rain. Found on an online blog on the subject of Forks, “As someone told me who ACTUALLY lives in Forks, WA, it doesn’t actually rain there very often.” Seriously? Which one of you smart alecks said that?

9. Kalaloch has swimming pools. There are all kinds of reviews online about the swimming pools at Kalaloch Lodge. Apparently they aren’t very clean either. In Kalaloch’s defense, it’s very hard to keep pools clean that don’t exist.

8. Pacific Pizza has a bar. An online reviewer commended the owners for putting a wall in to separate the restaurant from the bar area. I’d like to commend the owners for keeping this bar a secret from me during all of the years that I worked there. Though, looking back at my younger years (when I worked there), this was probably a good idea on their part.

7. Forks has no Asians. According to an online comment, we don’t offer any good Chinese food because we don’t have any Asians living here. Imagine my surprise when I read this as my best friend, since first grade, is an Asian … or so she claims. Now I don’t know what to believe.

6. We are beachside. As one website said, “One of the first things you notice as you pull into Forks is the gorgeous beach.” In my 30 years here, I have never noticed the beach as I pulled into town. I really need to stop texting and driving.

5. Mocha Motion’s lines are confusing. According to a TripAdvisor reviewer, “The lines there were a little confusing.” At the end of the day, I think we should just chalk this up to someone getting a little too excited about our legalized marijuana.

4. South North Garden offers Italian. An online comment of South North Gardens reads, “My family went to South North two days in a row for dinner. We had pasta the first night and pizza the second night.” I guess you can ask for the “other” menu when you go there?

3. The Subway is at the Shell station. This comment comes straight from a Sequim resident. I think that should say enough.

2. “The Owners of the Misty Valley Inn are vegetarians.” I saw this statement on Yelp.com. I happen to know the owners of Misty Valley Inn. I’ve seen them eat meat. If they are vegetarians, they cheat. A lot. I’m not judging. I’m just saying …

1. Forks High School, Home of the Trojans! Wait, what? A Bellevue resident commented online that she wanted a Forks High Trojans T-shirt, but that she couldn’t find that tickled her fancy. I can’t imagine that she had much of a selection of FHS Trojan shirts.

but what do I know? I’m just a local.