Dear Recent Grads,


With summer coming to an end, many of you are finally getting the chance to leave this narrow-minded, rainy, boring, depressing, one-stop light town! You have been dreaming about this time for as long as you can remember. You’re driving out of Forks and never looking back. Good for you! You will love the big city life (or life in any area that has more than one stop light.) There will be fun things to do, more fast food restaurants than you can count and anonymity!

Anonymity is amazing by the way. For the first time, no one will know your business before you do! You will feel bad for all those people “stuck” back in your awful hometown.

Then will come the day you need to find the post office, the DMV or some other random place in your new town. You will realize that you took for granted always knowing where everything was in Forks. You’ll also need to find a new doctor, dentist, hospital, etc. None of the employees at any of these new places will know your name or remember you at your next visit. You will be just another file folder.

The gas stations in your new area won’t let you get gas before paying cash, the bank tellers won’t let you withdraw money without ID and the waitresses won’t let you pay next time if you forget your wallet. You aren’t in Kansas anymore, Toto. Everyone in Forks lets you do these things because they’ve known you since you were in diapers. No one will know you anymore, for better or worse.

Suddenly you’ll realize that maybe the grass wasn’t as green as you imagined it would be. You’ll start to miss the rain. You’ll start to realize that you are a “nobody” now. You’ll do the one thing you swore would never happen; you’ll realize Forks had its perks.

I know it’s hard to believe this now, but chances are that you will move back to Forks, even just for a short time, at least once. It will be OK. If you’re an overachiever like me, you’ll move back to Forks seven times. And that will be OK, too.

Moving back to Forks won’t mean you failed. It doesn’t mean you couldn’t make it anywhere else. Above all else, it never means you’re doomed to be stuck here forever. It simply means that people need to come home sometimes.

Go off into the big world and experience everything that it has to offer. See the sights and ride the rides. Maybe you’ll fall in love with another area or maybe you’ll realize that life outside of Forks wasn’t all that it was cracked up to be. Either way is fine.

Just know that there is no shame in coming home. Trust me on this one. I’m a professional “never-moving-back’er” who always comes home. And yes, “never-moving-back’er” is a technical term.

For more wisdom and life advice, I got nothing … but you can e-mail me at [email protected]