Living in Pittsburgh taught me a few eye-opening things. For example, there are stores out there that do not sell Johnny’s Seasoning Salt (heathens!), there are places where people eat French fries on salads and sandwiches (yes, directly on them), and there are people who would literally sell their entire family to watch one live Steelers’ game. I’m not even exaggerating … much. Their fans are hard core.
Now, for me to explain this, I’m going to need you all to pretend that you don’t hate the Steelers for one minute (well, maybe two minutes, depending on how long I ramble on). Regardless of how you feel about the team, if you spend any time in Pittsburgh, you cannot deny that their fans are seriously loyal.
When I lived there, the Steelers went to the Super Bowl. Schools in the area let out early on the Friday before the big game for no other reason than to mentally prepare the kids, I guess? More shockingly, on Super Bowl Sunday, most businesses were closed. Closed … as in, not taking in any money just because the owners wanted to watch the game.
As many of you know, all Seahawk fans are often accused of being bandwagoners (not a real word), which is ridiculous. I can prove this is 100 percent false with a picture from 1992 of my then 5-year-old brother wearing a Seahawks jersey. Ironically, he is now a Broncos fan. He switched over right about the time that the Seahawks started winning. He’s like the opposite of a bandwagon fan, whatever that is called. So take that haters!
At the end of the day though, the only way we are going to silence the haters is to go hard core. We need to be more like the Steeler fans (keep pretending you don’t hate that team for the sake of this column). I’m not suggesting that we close town down during game days like Pittsburgh does because I already have most Sundays off so that wouldn’t benefit me in the least. Since this is my idea, I think I should benefit. I’m pretty sure that you all will like my idea better anyway.
I’m thinking something along the lines of traffic ticket-free game days! Forgot to use your blinker? The cops are going to look the other way. California stop? A stern finger wagging is all you’re going to receive. Pulled over going 60 through town? No problem. The cops are only going to give you a warning if my proposal goes through … to prove just how loyal we are to our team. Bandwagon fans would never go that far to prove their love for their team. We’re going hard core!
The only person who should not benefit from traffic ticket-free game days is my little brother … until he jumps from the Bronco wagon back on to the Seahawk wagon. Sorry brother, you brought that on yourself. Who jumps ship when their team starts winning? There isn’t even a word for that!
For questions, comments or to sign my traffic ticket-free game day petition to send to Rick Bart, please e-mail me at firstname.lastname@example.org. P.S., you may stop resume your Steeler hatred now.