If you don’t know me, you should know that I’m roughly as tall as the average third-grader. For this reason,

If you don’t know me, you should know that I’m roughly as tall as the average third-grader. For this reason, I prefer to drive smaller vehicles. Anything larger than a Barbie Jeep requires me to use a booster seat.


Therefore, when it came time to decide who would drive the ginormous U-Haul during our recent move, it just made sense for it to be me. Actually, it didn’t make any sense at all, but for whatever reason, I volunteered to do it.

When I walked into the U-Haul place on moving day, I half expected the U-Hauler specialists to tell me that I wasn’t tall enough to ride that ride. At the very least, they should have asked if I had a parent or guardian to supervise.

It became clear that they were desperate for business when they handed me the keys without even asking to see my booster seat.

Despite having no experience driving a vehicle the length of a football field, things started out amazingly well. Maybe it was just beginner’s luck, but I was doing great. Then I turned the truck on.

This was where things went downhill. I asked my husband where the cruise control button was. Apparently, these trucks don’t come with cruise control. This was a major problem for me as I can never be trusted to maintain speed on my own. Thankfully though, the cops had achieved their monthly ticket quota and had no intentions of writing any that day.

I only had to drive from Port Angeles to the Hoh and back to Forks so it wasn’t too long of a trip. Unfortunately, I had to drive around Lake Crescent. I’m man enough to admit that I drove like a tourist all the way around. OK, I’m not a man (and men don’t admit their faults freely anyway), but to be honest, my driving went something like this: break, 10 MPH, break, 10 MPH … you get the idea. I probably should publicly apologize to the 32 cars that were behind me when we finally got to the end. Sorry for not using the turnouts guys. I just wanted to get through that nightmare quickly.

Everything after the lake was easy-peasy with the exception of the 4,000 bridges which I happened to drive across with a log truck going the other way EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.

Like any experienced big rig driver going across a narrow bridge, I just closed my eyes and prayed, “Please don’t wreck, please don’t wreck, please don’t wreck.” This expert driving technique worked well for me as I never wrecked.

I successfully completed my U-Haul adventure two days later with a new appreciation for truck drivers. I have no idea how you all go 95 mph around the lake, but well done! Perhaps next time I will do better with my booster seat.

For questions, comments or to offer me a truck driving job, please e-mail me at