Not everyone has a chainsaw, you know


After our latest super storm, a lady from Port Townsend posted a picture on Facebook of her “storm damage.” Miss Port Townsend’s picture showed a tree branch, roughly the size of the perfect marshmallow roasting stick, that had fallen across her driveway. She captioned the picture with the following: “I called the WSDOT about this, but they said they are too busy! I can’t even get out of my driveway!”

Silly WSDOT, working on getting ginormous trees off of power lines and off the highways … why didn’t you have time to lift a twig for this lady??!!

Surprisingly, no one advised the lady to make some s’mores with her “storm damage,” but someone did nicely suggest that she take care of the problem herself. She responded with, “Not everyone has a chainsaw, you know!” At first, I thought to myself, “You don’t need chainsaws, just your fingers … maybe a knee at most.”

More importantly though, I thought to myself, “Are you trying to tell me that there are people in this world who do not have at least one chainsaw in their house? Where is this crazy place you speak of?”

Ironically, I basically had the same exact reaction when I first watched Bambi at age 6. While many children cried their eyes out when Bambi’s mother was shot by a hunter, I was thinking to myself, “Where is this crazy place you speak of where female deer can legally be shot?! This movie is so fake! Everyone knows you can’t shoot if there aren’t horns!”

As it turns out though, there are places where female deer can legally be shot. Fun Fact; there also are places where deer travel in herds, specifically Pennsylvania. It’s the weirdest thing I’ve ever witnessed.

Much like the legalized shooting of Bambi’s mom, I’m sure there also are places where people do not own chainsaws, but the thought of that still blows my mind. No chainsaws? How do these people even live? That is not the kind of life that I am looking for.

A few weeks ago, there was another huge storm near my work place. A co-worker, who left work early, called my work to let everyone know that there was a tree across the highway nearby. Another co-worker commented that SHE was not worried because SHE had a chainsaw in the trunk. As I was driving my husband’s vehicle, I also had a chainsaw that I could use. I’ve never actually used it before, but the keyword there was “could” … as in, worst case scenario I probably could figure it out.

I’m guessing that most people around here carry a chainsaw and could remedy a tree across the road situation themselves. Miss Port Townsend needs to invest in one. That way, if there is a stick in her driveway, she doesn’t need to burden the WSDOT with such a thing. They have better things to do … such as helping me start my chainsaw.

For questions, comments or more weird facts about the Pennsylvania area (shopping carts are called buggies there), please e-mail me at [email protected]