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As most of you may know, Sterling Bank recently switched to Umpqua Bank. What you may not know is that nobody asked my permission before this change. Obviously you're thinking, "Wow! This column has really gone to her head!"
In Christyland, obituaries would make people smile and maybe even laugh. Unfortunately, as I discovered while writing my gram’s obituary, the rule book states that they must be serious. This is unfortunate because laughter is the best medicine … after Nyquil anyway.
If you haven’t met the Chief of Police of Forks, you need to. He is hilarious! Well, you probably don’t want to meet him when you’re breaking the law, because I’m sure he isn’t very funny then. Most other times though, he is so full of jokes that I almost worry about my job security. I said almost.I was wondering the other day, what happens if the school zone starts flashing when I’ve already passed it but I don’t know?
Forks Outfitters … or Thriftyway … or Thriftmart … or The Store, I’m not sure what the official name is anymore. Everyone calls it something different. Anyway, that big store on the south end of town is home to the sweatshirts with the very complex design of “FORKS” written on the front. A few sweatshirts were made to go even a step further and said, “Forks, WA” on the front!
I was talking with the chief of police a few weeks ago and I mentioned that I had never seen the inside of the Forks Jail. I was quick to add that this was simply due to luck in my teenage years. I was a foolish teenager who thought she was 10 feet tall and bullet proof.
Like many of you, I come from a long line of logging industry working fools. They weren’t fools because of the dangerous working conditions or long hours in horrible weather, but because they had no bathroom nearby for their entire shift.